Thursday, July 29, 2010

Holy Christ

Wow. I almost forgot my blog existed. I've been busy being the slave, I mean, assistant to this new manager.

Well, let me give you a quick rundown:

I was working in a store (store A).
I was asked to be the assistant to a manager (she asked for me specifically) in a specific store (store B).
I was ready to go there (mentally; I wasn't trained yet or anything. I like that manager and have the means to do the job). It's the smallest and slowest store in the company.
Supervisor told me that the company needed me at a bigger store right across the street from the corporate offices (store C).
I said fine.
Two days into my first (and only) week at the bigger store, the supervisor called me again to tell me that I was needed at a different store (store D). The assistant at D went to C, which was where she started.
The manager at D is known in the company for well-training her assistants. She called me a few times to give me details (1st-shifter during the week gets migraines from strong perfumes; they order in a lot; bring a mug so I can have free coffee). She seemed nice.
I finally get there and it turns out that she's batshit crazy. She's super organized (not a big deal as it makes doing paperwork easier) and anal about where things are and how things are done. My first day she had me watch our surveillance video and write people up for stupid shit like not having their shirts tucked in and not comparing cigarette counts.
She's strict as hell, too. She won't let anything get in the way of her bonus. She freaks out over nothing.

Anyway, I was getting yelled at A LOT by her. She expected me to remember everything as soon as I was shown. The first few weeks were tough, but I got through them.

The end of the second week there, an overnighter quit. Awesome. Since there are like 6 people working as employees at that store, two of which are overnighters, I had to cover the overnights on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday nights. Lucky for me, I like pulling all-nighters. Unfortunately, I am a second-shift kind of girl. I like going to bed late and waking up late. I don't mind doing the overnights. It was my first time doing the 3rd shift, so I wasn't sure what to expect. I got through it. The next week, we got a new hire for the overnights. I was going to train him for two weeks and then he would be on his own.

This guy was a goddamed dingbat. After his two weeks of training, he was STILL looking at notes on how to put gas on a pump. Seriously? He'd done it like hundreds of times and he STILL had to look at his notes. When he was starting his first night alone, I was asked by the manager to come in for an hour, 9:30-10:30 to make sure shift was broken correctly (older employee is still getting the hang of the system and has trouble cashing out) and that the new hire was all set. I went in and blah, blah, blah. I got a call at 6:48 am, telling me that the new guy couldn't break shift and that I had trained him poorly (UH, NO). I tried to walk him through it, but for some reason his numbers weren't working. The store had gotten this system a few months ago and the manager still doesn't really know how to do things in it, so she didn't know. Later on, she called me to tell me that the newbie quit because the customers were too rude and he couldn't learn the register. The manager and I agreed that it was because the morning person was yelling at him because he didn't make the next drawer, couldn't break shift, etc.

So, here I am, pulling an all-nighter so I can sleep tomorrow during the afternoon to work the overnight. FML. We do, however, have a new hire coming in next week and I'll be training him. Manager initially said that she didn't want me training him because of how he didn't know anything. I told her that he was a moron and I've trained people before and it had never happened. She said she'd give me another shot at it. Hopefully this one isn't a super-religious moron like the last one.

I've been given the responsibility the past few weeks (the days where I'm in at 6am) to do the afternoon gas survey, go to the office to drop off paperwork and make the bank deposit. I was weary at first since I don't know the area well at all, but since I'd gone with the manager more than a few times to do these things, it wasn't as bad. I know how to get everywhere and where everything is and I'm okay with it. It's a major responsibility to have to do these things. I was originally given 3 weeks to train, but since I've had to work overnights, the time I've spent training is far less than it should be. Manager has been coming on Sunday mornings, usually an hour after I get there, to double check the stuff I've done. She says she's not coming in this Sunday. She thinks I can do it on my own, which I'm pretty sure I can. She's only going to call, she says, so hopefully she won't be disappointed.

Though the manager is batshit crazy, I kinda like her now. I wanted to quit my first few weeks, but I stuck it out. She's taken a liking to me and she's even said that she's proud of me! I would like to go back to my old store, though. I like A better than B, C and D. The assistant there told me that he's quitting since he found a better-paying job. I mean, who else to be the assistant to the crazy Filipino lady who knows the store and town? :)

Well, it's almost 2:30 am, and I have a lot of nothing to do, so I'm going to play some . Best. Game. Ever.

Friday, July 9, 2010

Omfg. I'm horribly close to screaming at this guy. We go through this every fucking transaction. HIT THE "TOTAL" KEY. DUUUUUUR

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Dear math-challenged customers, giving me a penny when your total ends in 99 cents means you're getting 2 cents back, not a dollar. Hatefully, Lynn
Last day at this place is June 6th! Ill be at a much smaller store for a while then over to a bigger one once I'm fully trained for a while. Yay!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Dearly hated, you are gathered here today to make my life miserable and show me you don't know how to have transaction each. You may now gtfo.*cue angry yell*

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Shit's nuts today. No one seems to want to give me exact or close to exact change and it's wiping me out. :(

Friday, May 14, 2010

"he can kiss my Greek-italian ass. One's Greek, the other's Italian. The Italian's the best one." Annie on how she doesn't care about roger's opinion. Hahaha
Supervisor wants me in the New place in 2 weeks. He thinks I can get fully trained as assistant and train 2 more people in 2 weeks. He's Fucking nuts.
Until you have actually dealt with the stresses of working at a gas station, don't judge. Seriously. You'd be eaten a-Fucking-live if you think it's easy.

Monday, May 10, 2010

"might as well stock the paraphenalia for the druggies." Brenda on stocking some blunt wraps. Hahahaha
Haha that went as 2 posts. Stupid texts limited to 160 characters.
(2/2) knew her change. More to come when I get Home.
(1/2) Oh holy Christ. I'm at work right now, posting from my phone. There's a major boo-boo that a customer made and that was messing with me, thinking she

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Post Office

It's been a nice relaxing day here at the gas station. We have a contracted postal unit (CPU) that seems to have everyone mind-fucked when they see it. We don't do money orders, take checks or have anything to do with mailboxes or passports. We can do everything else, though. Here's the sign that I was bitching about a few days ago:

Obviously these people can read, but there's no need to ASK if YOU ALREADY KNOW. Don't mind the written-in "s." My manager makes these signs and she's Filipino with an okay grasp on spoken English, but not written, so I wrote it in.

We've done about as much today, Saturday, as we would normally do on a Saturday.

I noticed the picture was pretty small, so the total as of 4:25 pm is $177.52.

Not much going on today. I love these days at the CPU and will miss them terribly when I leave to be an assistant. I finally figured out how to get internet here using a cable that's hooked into the computer here and I'm pissed that I discovered it so late, but at least I can make the most of my time here.

There are a few perks about this job that I have neglected to mention. There's a Dunkin' Donuts and a Subway in the same building. We workers at the gas station have shit loads of fun with the Dunkin' workers. As I was typing the previous paragraph, one of them ran over with something she had picked up with her tongs. She plopped a partially-frozen flatbread egg white triangle on my desk, ALMOST on my laptop.

They love to throw shit at us and we give it right back. We love the Dunkin' crew. The Subway crew... not so much. They're kinda prude and their manager's a dick.

On a different note, I'm fucking freezing. The AC is on, I think, and the thermostat says 65, but I think it's colder than that. I need a smoke.

Friday, May 7, 2010

I'm really enjoying this project. I'm trying to swipe as many debits as credits for pricks on cell phones as possible. Tonight's count: 5
No need for you customers to read the sign aloud and then ask us questions the sign answers. "'No money orders made.' you don't do money orders?" NO SHIT.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Just noticed an annoying customer. Ducked out for a smoke in the front since he's parked out back. Oh, and fuck the wind!
New girl from last night called out. She seemed pretty distressed at the end of the shift.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010


So, we hired a new girl this week and she started today. Normally I don't mind training people. I kind of like it. This new girl is really nice and has a god sense of humor. She's young, only 18 I think, and has NO cashiering experience. Throughout the shift, she kept asking the same questions. I felt like I was an underpaid babysitter.

I figured that scanning an item, hitting "total" and then [amount given] and then "cash" would be a no-brainer. It's the easiest thing to do. For the first few HOURS she was asking what to do when a customer gave her money. I have patience when it comes to trainees, old people and very young children. Other than than, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GET A BRAIN. Annie left at 7:30, Brian left at 9. I was left with the trainee for the rest of the night. I was showing her a bit of how to do the paperwork (I even made a mega cheat sheet for her) and then shit got wicked fucking busy. I was trying to count the cigarettes and she was waiting on customers. The retards we have for higher-ups insist that we can't have more than $400 in our drawers at any given time ($150 for the beginning drawer, $150 for the drawer we have to make for the next shift and whatever we get from cash sales). A few coworkers and I noticed that as the night goes on, the amount we can have lowers. Once, I had my $150 drawer for the next shift made and was told by the register to make a drop. (Note: We can't do ANYTHING until we make a drop, except approve pumps. This is horribly time-consuming and pisses all employees off.) I had 2 $20 bills, so I made a $40 drop. I decided to count my money in my drawer to see what it was. It was $101.65. Before the drop, it was $141.65. This means that we should have LESS THAN $150 in our operating drawer. WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK. Higher-ups never had pricks like them fucking with how things should be done when they were cashiers, I'm sure. They wouldn't be doing this bullshit otherwise.

We got a huge rush of people at 9:15, leaving me to help the trainee with nearly every transaction she had and waiting on shit tons of customers. I finally got the cigarettes counted and shit straightened out by 9:50, a little before 3rd shift came in. Trainee wasn't feeling well (I think she felt overwhelmed with all the shit that was going on in the rush; some gas got moved and people claimed they bought gas but never pumped it, etc.) and threw up in the bathroom a few times. Normally I would have them stay and see how the paperwork's done, but I sent her home. No one's gonna throw up on me, thanks.

We were 105.83 short and I know Trainee forgot to write down some drops, so I'm not worried about that. I've never been so damned frustrated before. Customers were being ultra rude today and shit just kept coming at us. At least that's over.

I guess I'm glad that Trainee learned some things today.
1. Don't litter in the parking lot.
2. Stop talking on your cell phone.
3. Keep your shit to ONE transaction.

She also learned that cashiering isn't all it's cracked up to be. Until you're in the cashier's position, you don't realize the bullshit that goes on and the stress it has.

To lighten the mood, I'll share with you a little story about a dumbass customer I had when I was at my first store.

During the summer of 2006, we had a customer walk in glance around and stop in front of the registers. In front of the counter, underneath where the registers are, are our shelves of candy. He bent forward a little and was looking back and forth at them for a few minutes. Finally I asked,

"Are you looking for something specific?"
"Yeah, where do you keep your ice cream?"
"....... Novelty ice cream is in the cooler to your right and we have a few freezers toward the back with others."
"Ohhhhhhhhh, okay."

Wait, SERIOUSLY? You're looking for ice cream in the CANDY BAR SECTION?

I think I'll make a little afterthought section for you guys. You deserve to know what we (or at least I) do when you piss me off and what things actually piss me off.

"You're going to card me?"
NO SHIT. "Yeah."
"I don't like 18?"
"That's not how it works. If you look under 30, I'm going to card you."
His ID gets flung across the counter. I check the birth date. It's November of 1990. That stupid asshole is FOUR YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM. That's why I card stupid cunts like you.

What do I do to piss YOU off when you piss ME off?
If you're on your cell phone and you hand me a debit card, I run it through as credit. You obviously don't have the time or courtesy to get the FUCK OFF YOUR PHONE to tell me you want debit. Have fun with held money on your account, asshole.

Our registers look like this:

and the buttons look like this (for the most part; we don't have keys for brand-specific products and some keys are in different spots, like the lottery. We have $1, 2, 5, 10 and 20 lottery tickets. Those spaces go from right above the 7 key to right above the "ticket print" key):

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Day 2

Thank fuck it was a short day today. I got in early, about 1:15 and left a little after 8. I was working with Annie and Brian again. Shit got pretty tense when Brian said he needed to leave early because he had to write a paper and Annie would have to be by herself for an hour. Annie's got a bit of personal stuff on her plate and this tipped the scales. She wasn't happy and will be pissed for a while, I'm sure. This is a downside to getting to know people. You learn a lot about their problems and their pasts which can be sad, but you do realize how many hardships they've gone through and it gives insight as to why they've become the person they are.

Not long after I punched in, my crazy Filipino manager, Flora, asked me if I would be interested in becoming the assistant manager of another store. The manager at that store is the manager I had when I first started with the company. I LOVE HER! She's really fun and is pretty lax about things. She said she wouldn't take me in until Flora got another person hired to replace me. Perfect! We just hired a new girl. I'm going to work her like a dog and make sure she knows how everything is done. She'll be at the Post Office with me when I'm there so she can replace me on weekends. I'm pretty stoked that we have a new hire ANYWAY since we're about to be incredibly short-handed with 2 leaving because college is getting out and one just getting fired.

Here's a little story for you guys. It happened about 2 weeks ago. Keep in mind the layout of the men's room:

I was cleaning the bathrooms while Brian was trying to light the pilot on our furnace, which is in the drop-ceiling in the women's bathroom. I cleaned the women's room and went into the dreaded men's bathroom after. I sprayed the sink first to let it soak since it gets really grimy with the nasty boys washing their dirty-ass hands. I sprayed the toilet and cleaned it. I went back to the sink, sprayed it again and started wiping. The door opens (because you stupid men NEVER knock).

Customer: Oh, sorry.
Me: I'll just be a minute. I'm cleaning.
C: Oh, okay.

About 10 seconds later, the door opens again.

C: Sorry, I've had like 10 beers and I've been holding this since Ludlow. If you don't mind...


As pissed off as I am that this dumbass can't wait 30 seconds to pee, I just giggle the whole time.

C: Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah.
Me: ........

I lean over to the toilet and grab the bathroom cleaner spray bottle and start to walk out. AND THEN...

C: Don't worry. There's nothing to see here anyway.

And that, my friends, was the icing on the cake. I actually lol'd and swung the door open just in case someone wanted to see why I was giggling in the bathroom.

Seriously. Working at places like this is what drives us to smoke and get pissy. It also provides entertainment for you for a few minutes.

No work for me tomorrow, but I will be getting up at the ass crack of dawn on Saturday and Sunday to pick up my assistant manager. We're scheduled for the same time and he got into a little car accident earlier this week and since he lives in the next town over, I offered to give him a ride there and back this weekend since he has no car. Not sure how he's going to do the deposit, though. Probably my car. Anyway...

I got offered an assistant manager position! Of course it happens as soon as I start his blog. Whatever. I have lots to share anyway.
Day 1 of this silly blogumentary.

Annie was in with me tonight and I was on the main register. Brian got in early, as usual, and went to the Post Office CPU we have in the store. For some reason, tonight was a crazy night for diesel. On a busy night, we can do about $3000 worth of fuel (gas and diesel) between the two registers, maybe more. Really busy nights can bring in about $4000. Tonight was a busy day for truckers, bringing in $6200. Everyone was fueling up with credit cards, ranging from $65 to $600. It's not unusual to have the regulars stop in and top off the tanks before bringing them back to wherever they stay for the night, usually just buying somewhere between $50 and $200 worth. We were getting truckers from EVERYWHERE today. A lot of them were charging hundreds of dollars' worth of diesel. It was crazy!

In other news, the debit and credit was kinda flaky today. The new assistant manager, Matt, had to reset the things a few times. It was the end of the world for some customers and I have to be honest, I didn't see the Messiah, so I assume I have been right all along: there's no God.


A trucker came in to pay for his diesel. I told him the debit/credit would be down for a few minutes while it rebooted. He was patient and looked at the newspapers. The customer behind him handed me his credit card. I told him what I told the trucker. "Well that's great," he said. The debit/credit came back up. I ran the trucker's card. The customer (who was still behind him) gave me his credit card again.

"I need gas."
"What pump?"
"Uh, FOUR." (He's pissed because I don't know.)
"Okay, how much?"
"Fill it."
"Well if you're paying here, I need to know how much to put on. I don't know how much your car needs."
"UGH. Just put on fucking $20."
I swiped his card and he basically rips the receipt as he signs it. He tosses the pen back at me. Fucking prick.

WE'RE NOT FUCKING PSYCHICS. We don't know where you parked, what pump you're on, how much your car needs, how much it will be, what cigarettes you need, what lotto tickets you want to buy. Don't be douchebags like this guy. This happens quite often. I've learned how to deal with it and, for the most part, can let it go. I've never sworn at a customer or been intentionally rude (okay, that's a lie) to a customer. I can handle difficult situations well and can be pleasant if you're not an asshole. There are things you need to STOP DOING. That's tomorrow's rant.

Well, it's 2:17 am and I need to rest up for the lovely shift I have tomorrow. Maybe there'll be another story in it for you.
P. S. I bought a giant jaw breaker at 7-11 the other day and I think I'll document the progress. Here's what I did tonight:

Tuesday, April 27, 2010


Before people start bitching about how "insane" is spelled incorrectly, let me explain.

I'm 23 years old, living in an apartment in Massachusetts. I work at a big-name gas station with a local no-name owner. I work with a bunch of loons, one who's Annie. She's been with the company for 7 years and has been in the business for 25. She lovingly refers to crazy days (pretty much every day) as "insale asylums." I don't know if she doesn't realize she's saying it incorrectly, runs the words together or what. In any case, that's why.

I decided to start this to document a bit of the trials and tribulations that come along with being an under-paid and overworked cashier. I started working for a different big-name gas station in June of 2005 for $7 an hour. When I left, I was making $8.75. It was right down the road from my parents' house and was my job for my vacations from college. While in college and living on campus, I worked at a grill on campus. This lasted for 3 1/2 years. My supervisor was a bitch and I quit in May 2008. In September 2008, I moved to the city in which I go to college (not on campus like I had been) and couldn't be travelling the half hour each way to get there since I didn't have my license. In April 2009, I applied for a position at the gas station up the road and was hired. I have been there ever since and let me tell you, Annie's correct in calling it an asylum.

For those of you that have never worked retail and think it's an easy job, it's not. There's a shit-ton more to it than you realize. For those that have, you can back me up. Working as a cashier has its ups and downs and sometimes it seems like there are too many. As I said, I'll be updating this blog with recent stories, past experiences and I'll include some emails we get from corporate. You wouldn't believe some of the shit they want us to do, how they run things and even their reactions to things we send.

Wear your seatbelts, kids. It's going to be a bumpy ride.