Post Office

It's been a nice relaxing day here at the gas station. We have a contracted postal unit (CPU) that seems to have everyone mind-fucked when they see it. We don't do money orders, take checks or have anything to do with mailboxes or passports. We can do everything else, though. Here's the sign that I was bitching about a few days ago:



Obviously these people can read, but there's no need to ASK if YOU ALREADY KNOW. Don't mind the written-in "s." My manager makes these signs and she's Filipino with an okay grasp on spoken English, but not written, so I wrote it in.

We've done about as much today, Saturday, as we would normally do on a Saturday.



I noticed the picture was pretty small, so the total as of 4:25 pm is $177.52.

Not much going on today. I love these days at the CPU and will miss them terribly when I leave to be an assistant. I finally figured out how to get internet here using a cable that's hooked into the computer here and I'm pissed that I discovered it so late, but at least I can make the most of my time here.

There are a few perks about this job that I have neglected to mention. There's a Dunkin' Donuts and a Subway in the same building. We workers at the gas station have shit loads of fun with the Dunkin' workers. As I was typing the previous paragraph, one of them ran over with something she had picked up with her tongs. She plopped a partially-frozen flatbread egg white triangle on my desk, ALMOST on my laptop.





They love to throw shit at us and we give it right back. We love the Dunkin' crew. The Subway crew... not so much. They're kinda prude and their manager's a dick.

On a different note, I'm fucking freezing. The AC is on, I think, and the thermostat says 65, but I think it's colder than that. I need a smoke.

I'm really enjoying this project. I'm trying to swipe as many debits as credits for pricks on cell phones as possible. Tonight's count: 5

No need for you customers to read the sign aloud and then ask us questions the sign answers. "'No money orders made.' you don't do money orders?" NO SHIT.

Just noticed an annoying customer. Ducked out for a smoke in the front since he's parked out back. Oh, and fuck the wind!

New girl from last night called out. She seemed pretty distressed at the end of the shift.

Trainees

So, we hired a new girl this week and she started today. Normally I don't mind training people. I kind of like it. This new girl is really nice and has a god sense of humor. She's young, only 18 I think, and has NO cashiering experience. Throughout the shift, she kept asking the same questions. I felt like I was an underpaid babysitter.

I figured that scanning an item, hitting "total" and then [amount given] and then "cash" would be a no-brainer. It's the easiest thing to do. For the first few HOURS she was asking what to do when a customer gave her money. I have patience when it comes to trainees, old people and very young children. Other than than, JESUS FUCKING CHRIST GET A BRAIN. Annie left at 7:30, Brian left at 9. I was left with the trainee for the rest of the night. I was showing her a bit of how to do the paperwork (I even made a mega cheat sheet for her) and then shit got wicked fucking busy. I was trying to count the cigarettes and she was waiting on customers. The retards we have for higher-ups insist that we can't have more than $400 in our drawers at any given time ($150 for the beginning drawer, $150 for the drawer we have to make for the next shift and whatever we get from cash sales). A few coworkers and I noticed that as the night goes on, the amount we can have lowers. Once, I had my $150 drawer for the next shift made and was told by the register to make a drop. (Note: We can't do ANYTHING until we make a drop, except approve pumps. This is horribly time-consuming and pisses all employees off.) I had 2 $20 bills, so I made a $40 drop. I decided to count my money in my drawer to see what it was. It was $101.65. Before the drop, it was $141.65. This means that we should have LESS THAN $150 in our operating drawer. WHAT THE MOTHERFUCK. Higher-ups never had pricks like them fucking with how things should be done when they were cashiers, I'm sure. They wouldn't be doing this bullshit otherwise.

We got a huge rush of people at 9:15, leaving me to help the trainee with nearly every transaction she had and waiting on shit tons of customers. I finally got the cigarettes counted and shit straightened out by 9:50, a little before 3rd shift came in. Trainee wasn't feeling well (I think she felt overwhelmed with all the shit that was going on in the rush; some gas got moved and people claimed they bought gas but never pumped it, etc.) and threw up in the bathroom a few times. Normally I would have them stay and see how the paperwork's done, but I sent her home. No one's gonna throw up on me, thanks.

We were 105.83 short and I know Trainee forgot to write down some drops, so I'm not worried about that. I've never been so damned frustrated before. Customers were being ultra rude today and shit just kept coming at us. At least that's over.

I guess I'm glad that Trainee learned some things today.
1. Don't litter in the parking lot.
2. Stop talking on your cell phone.
3. Keep your shit to ONE transaction.

She also learned that cashiering isn't all it's cracked up to be. Until you're in the cashier's position, you don't realize the bullshit that goes on and the stress it has.

To lighten the mood, I'll share with you a little story about a dumbass customer I had when I was at my first store.

During the summer of 2006, we had a customer walk in glance around and stop in front of the registers. In front of the counter, underneath where the registers are, are our shelves of candy. He bent forward a little and was looking back and forth at them for a few minutes. Finally I asked,

"Are you looking for something specific?"
"Yeah, where do you keep your ice cream?"
"....... Novelty ice cream is in the cooler to your right and we have a few freezers toward the back with others."
"Ohhhhhhhhh, okay."

Wait, SERIOUSLY? You're looking for ice cream in the CANDY BAR SECTION?

I think I'll make a little afterthought section for you guys. You deserve to know what we (or at least I) do when you piss me off and what things actually piss me off.

STOP BEING A FUCKING COCKSUCKING ASSHOLE WHEN I CARD YOU.
"You're going to card me?"
NO SHIT. "Yeah."
"I don't like 18?"
"That's not how it works. If you look under 30, I'm going to card you."
His ID gets flung across the counter. I check the birth date. It's November of 1990. That stupid asshole is FOUR YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM. That's why I card stupid cunts like you.

What do I do to piss YOU off when you piss ME off?
If you're on your cell phone and you hand me a debit card, I run it through as credit. You obviously don't have the time or courtesy to get the FUCK OFF YOUR PHONE to tell me you want debit. Have fun with held money on your account, asshole.

Our registers look like this:


and the buttons look like this (for the most part; we don't have keys for brand-specific products and some keys are in different spots, like the lottery. We have $1, 2, 5, 10 and 20 lottery tickets. Those spaces go from right above the 7 key to right above the "ticket print" key):

Day 2

Thank fuck it was a short day today. I got in early, about 1:15 and left a little after 8. I was working with Annie and Brian again. Shit got pretty tense when Brian said he needed to leave early because he had to write a paper and Annie would have to be by herself for an hour. Annie's got a bit of personal stuff on her plate and this tipped the scales. She wasn't happy and will be pissed for a while, I'm sure. This is a downside to getting to know people. You learn a lot about their problems and their pasts which can be sad, but you do realize how many hardships they've gone through and it gives insight as to why they've become the person they are.

Not long after I punched in, my crazy Filipino manager, Flora, asked me if I would be interested in becoming the assistant manager of another store. The manager at that store is the manager I had when I first started with the company. I LOVE HER! She's really fun and is pretty lax about things. She said she wouldn't take me in until Flora got another person hired to replace me. Perfect! We just hired a new girl. I'm going to work her like a dog and make sure she knows how everything is done. She'll be at the Post Office with me when I'm there so she can replace me on weekends. I'm pretty stoked that we have a new hire ANYWAY since we're about to be incredibly short-handed with 2 leaving because college is getting out and one just getting fired.

Here's a little story for you guys. It happened about 2 weeks ago. Keep in mind the layout of the men's room:



I was cleaning the bathrooms while Brian was trying to light the pilot on our furnace, which is in the drop-ceiling in the women's bathroom. I cleaned the women's room and went into the dreaded men's bathroom after. I sprayed the sink first to let it soak since it gets really grimy with the nasty boys washing their dirty-ass hands. I sprayed the toilet and cleaned it. I went back to the sink, sprayed it again and started wiping. The door opens (because you stupid men NEVER knock).

Customer: Oh, sorry.
Me: I'll just be a minute. I'm cleaning.
C: Oh, okay.

About 10 seconds later, the door opens again.

C: Sorry, I've had like 10 beers and I've been holding this since Ludlow. If you don't mind...

AND HE WALKS TO THE URINAL, UNZIPS AND STARTS PISSING. WTF.

As pissed off as I am that this dumbass can't wait 30 seconds to pee, I just giggle the whole time.

C: Ohhhhhhhhhh yeah.
Me: ........

I lean over to the toilet and grab the bathroom cleaner spray bottle and start to walk out. AND THEN...

C: Don't worry. There's nothing to see here anyway.

And that, my friends, was the icing on the cake. I actually lol'd and swung the door open just in case someone wanted to see why I was giggling in the bathroom.

Seriously. Working at places like this is what drives us to smoke and get pissy. It also provides entertainment for you for a few minutes.

No work for me tomorrow, but I will be getting up at the ass crack of dawn on Saturday and Sunday to pick up my assistant manager. We're scheduled for the same time and he got into a little car accident earlier this week and since he lives in the next town over, I offered to give him a ride there and back this weekend since he has no car. Not sure how he's going to do the deposit, though. Probably my car. Anyway...

Night!